Bloom in Your Season

Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is our perspective about ourselves. It feels like so much of our life is overrun by what others think we should do and what others think is better for us, which so negatively effects how we view ourselves. 

Even as a child and teen in school you compare your grades, outfits, and a fake popularity that is paraded around like without it you'll never become anything. Then as we become adults it becomes even worse. As soon as we graduate high school there is pressure on what we will study and when we will graduate. There is pressure on when you'll get married and have kids. There is even pressure on how much money we make and how many vacations we go on versus the next person.

When I was in my senior year of high school I had this plan to graduate and go off to college, play soccer, get my degree in four years, and then go start a family. 

Absolutely NONE of this has happened the way I have wanted it to.

My senior year of high school I found out my family was moving to California. This ruined my plans of going away and then visiting all my friends and family at "home." Then once I decided to go to UNLV for school I broke my wrist the summer in between high school and college so I was unable to try for soccer. After a year at UNLV I moved back home to California and completed my AA in way more than two years, in a degree I didn't even care about. 

As I've spent the last six-ish years in California I've had a lot of friends go off and do so many wonderful things. It gets hard to not look at myself and say, "What have I done?" While everyone has gone off to school, moved away, or left on proselytizing missions, I've been here. 

Working, going to school, serving a Service Mission. 

It takes a lot of effort sometimes to remember that what I have done is just as great as what others have done and it doesn't matter where I am. I finished a degree and played soccer at Palomar while doing it. That was hard, but I loved it. It was a dream I have always had, and I did it. I also served a mission which is something I never thought was possible for me four or even three years ago, and man did I love it. It changed my life so much. And now I have a job which I love that provides for my needs and some of my wants as well, which I am so blessed to have. 

It's so hard to not look at yourself and sell yourself short. There are always going to be people doing other things that you aren't doing that you would love to do. It's life. But we must remember that we have our own timeline. God is so aware of us and in charge of our timelines.

I am not less because it took me longer to get a degree, because I served a mission later in life, or because I didn't get a proselytizing mission call. I am worth so much more than all of this, but these add to who I am and all I am worth. 

We have this voice in our heads which sometimes can tear us down. It likes to look at others, look at what we haven't accomplished yet, look at our slow progression as no progression. We must remember to not let this voice raise above everything else.

You are doing amazing things.

You are so loved.

You are exactly where you are meant to be. 

Even when it doesn't feel like it. When it feels like EVERYONE is doing exactly what you want to do, remember that different flowers bloom in different seasons. Your time is coming. Be patient with yourself, God has His hand in your life and He is leading you exactly where you need to be.