Are You Listening
Today I am sick...
Not like mentally or with society (though who knows maybe I am that way too but that's besides the point). Today I am physically sick & let's just say it's because I don't listen.
I know you're probably all confused here because usually my blogs make more sense by now but hold on. I promise I have a point.
As we all know from previous posts, I'm a control freak & a bit of a perfectionist. It happens. I like things my way & when I want them. And as we all know, so does God.
Because of this "flaw" of mine I tend to run around like a maniac 25/8 bossing people around & making sure my life (& everyone else's) is in order. But as my mom tends to tell me QUITE frequently, "You can't fix everyone."
The past few weeks have been exactly as I've stated above. I've been going crazy. From work, to church callings, to the gym, to my mission assignments. I've rarely been home except to sleep & I've been basically living out of my car. It's been a grand ol' time.
But the past few weeks God has been telling me in little ways that I need to slow down. Either by friends telling me, or just little words from friends, or even things I read from the prophets. I KNOW I need to slow down.
But I'm a bit stubborn. I don't have time to slow down. Yeah, that sounds silly I know, but that's what I said. That's what I keep saying.
You see God speaks to us how we will understand. Whether in different tongues or just different feelings & I've learned that with the way He speaks to me.
I am a BIG pain in the butt. I'm stubborn, bull-headed, & a perfectionist (just ask my parents). But God loves me & He still wants to talk to me. He still has things He wants to say to me & when I ask questions I'll still get answers despite my life's madness.
So, He again told me to slow down, & yet again I didn't listen.
As a YSA activity approached I told myself, "God has been telling me to slow down & I'm not listening. He's going to make me slow down & usually that involves something beyond my control. I might just get hurt tonight." I left the activity unharmed, but I knew something was coming, because I wasn't listening.
Remember Joseph Smith & Martin Harris? Joseph Smith didn't listen when the Lord said no, & he continued to ask because Martin Harris wanted him to. When the Lord finally gave him the answer he wanted the pages were then lost.
Though I knew my consequences wouldn't be as drastic as the lost 116 pages, I knew the Lord was setting me up to listen & to be taught. Each time He tells me to slow down & I don't listen, He makes me. There will be consequences to my actions, whether I like it or not.
Now let me end this with a story. Sunday morning I received a call. My wonderful Mission Leader wanted to meet with me. After this meeting, I was in tears & not because it was a terrible meeting, but because it was the complete opposite. Like I said earlier God knows what we need & how we will listen & God knew I would listen to my Mission Leader. Again He was saying, slow down, be still.
So Monday morning I woke up feeling a bit under the weather & today I might feel like a pile of dirt, but I'm grateful. I'm grateful to have a loving Heavenly Father who doesn't give up on me. Who sends not only feelings to me & others, but Mission Leaders with amazing scriptures who are so busy but they make time for me. I'm grateful He cares so much about me that today I am sick. Maybe I'll slow down a bit & maybe I'll learn to be still.
I just wish I wasn't so stubborn so maybe I would listen the first time.
Not like mentally or with society (though who knows maybe I am that way too but that's besides the point). Today I am physically sick & let's just say it's because I don't listen.
I know you're probably all confused here because usually my blogs make more sense by now but hold on. I promise I have a point.
As we all know from previous posts, I'm a control freak & a bit of a perfectionist. It happens. I like things my way & when I want them. And as we all know, so does God.
Because of this "flaw" of mine I tend to run around like a maniac 25/8 bossing people around & making sure my life (& everyone else's) is in order. But as my mom tends to tell me QUITE frequently, "You can't fix everyone."
The past few weeks have been exactly as I've stated above. I've been going crazy. From work, to church callings, to the gym, to my mission assignments. I've rarely been home except to sleep & I've been basically living out of my car. It's been a grand ol' time.
But the past few weeks God has been telling me in little ways that I need to slow down. Either by friends telling me, or just little words from friends, or even things I read from the prophets. I KNOW I need to slow down.
But I'm a bit stubborn. I don't have time to slow down. Yeah, that sounds silly I know, but that's what I said. That's what I keep saying.
You see God speaks to us how we will understand. Whether in different tongues or just different feelings & I've learned that with the way He speaks to me.
I am a BIG pain in the butt. I'm stubborn, bull-headed, & a perfectionist (just ask my parents). But God loves me & He still wants to talk to me. He still has things He wants to say to me & when I ask questions I'll still get answers despite my life's madness.
So, He again told me to slow down, & yet again I didn't listen.
As a YSA activity approached I told myself, "God has been telling me to slow down & I'm not listening. He's going to make me slow down & usually that involves something beyond my control. I might just get hurt tonight." I left the activity unharmed, but I knew something was coming, because I wasn't listening.
Remember Joseph Smith & Martin Harris? Joseph Smith didn't listen when the Lord said no, & he continued to ask because Martin Harris wanted him to. When the Lord finally gave him the answer he wanted the pages were then lost.
Though I knew my consequences wouldn't be as drastic as the lost 116 pages, I knew the Lord was setting me up to listen & to be taught. Each time He tells me to slow down & I don't listen, He makes me. There will be consequences to my actions, whether I like it or not.
Now let me end this with a story. Sunday morning I received a call. My wonderful Mission Leader wanted to meet with me. After this meeting, I was in tears & not because it was a terrible meeting, but because it was the complete opposite. Like I said earlier God knows what we need & how we will listen & God knew I would listen to my Mission Leader. Again He was saying, slow down, be still.
So Monday morning I woke up feeling a bit under the weather & today I might feel like a pile of dirt, but I'm grateful. I'm grateful to have a loving Heavenly Father who doesn't give up on me. Who sends not only feelings to me & others, but Mission Leaders with amazing scriptures who are so busy but they make time for me. I'm grateful He cares so much about me that today I am sick. Maybe I'll slow down a bit & maybe I'll learn to be still.
I just wish I wasn't so stubborn so maybe I would listen the first time.
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