When God Says No

No. 

That's definitely a word no one ever wants to hear. Growing up I was always very bossy & even now I like to be in control & I like things my way. No, is not something I want people to tell me. 

I want things in order the way they are supposed to be the time they are supposed to be there. No excuses. 

When I ask for something you better have a pretty gosh dang good excuse for it not be there & when I ask, I usually know the answer will be yes. 

Unless of course I'm asking God. 

Now the big man upstairs has His plan for me & I am oh so grateful for it I'm not going to lie, but I wish it was my plan. Many times I have wanted something in life but I have not known where to go or what to do, so I have asked God. Of course when it comes down to it I usually have what I want to do out of the 2 options, I just need to make sure I'm not screwing up my life. I want to say that most of the time God & I are on the same page, but there have been a few times we have had some disagreements, & that's fine. 

But what do you do when God tells you no? 

What do you do when your choice feels right but the answer is still no?

I've always been taught growing up that if it's a good decision that usually you're safe doing it. USUALLY. 

In 2012 the LDS church changed the mission policy so that girls could serve at 19 & boys at 18 instead of the previous 21 for girls & 19 for boys. It was an exciting time! All my friends were talking about serving missions. This brought the option of serving a mission earlier than 21 to me. I had always thought about serving a mission but I told myself if I was single & graduated, then at 21 I would go. Considering I was determined to graduate, I kept the same mindset with the age change & I went on my way. 

Fast forward about a year & I met this amazing friend of mine. She was starting mission papers. Now, I didn't want to lose her BUT I also couldn't stop her. The idea of going on a mission was still something I was thinking about BUT I was still delaying it. I mentioned this & my friend asked me why I would do such a thing. "Then we won't see each other for 3 years!!" 

So I prayed about it. The answer was no. How could the answer to something so amazing, so fulfilling, something He wants us to do be a no?! 

It just was. And it hurt. 

You know when you were little & you wanted to go to the movies with friends but your parents said no either because there was no parental supervision or maybe they hadn't seen the movie yet or they didn't know the friends? Something so simple & something that could bring you so much joy & your parents said no. How dare they?! And now that you're older you look back & see that they were doing it out of love, to protect you. 

That's all God is doing. We are His children. He loves us & He knows everything about us. He wants to keep us safe. He has a perfect plan for us because He is a perfect God!! Just imagine if we could see all He sees!!

I've come to learn that aligning our will with His is such a beautiful thing. It's so hard when you want something & He says no & you just don't understand. But through prayer we can come to understand & once we do & we take off the sunglasses blinding our vision, it's a beautiful view. It's breathtaking all the things He has in store for us. You can look back & see all the pain He saved you from & all the joy He has helped you achieve. 

The Lord told me I couldn't serve a mission 3 years ago out of love. 2 months ago, He told me yes. I'm grateful for the no He gave me then & I can't wait for the growth I will continue to get from the no's to come.