5 Things People With Invisible Illnesses Think & Want you To Know

October 24, 2016

As a lot of you know, last June I was diagnosed with seizures. Now adjusting to the lifestyle of daily medications & going to the doctor ALL THE TIME has not been fun. But it's been something I have to do & I've learned to do it. It's just something people you do.

Another thing I've learned about this, is that I now belong under this umbrella. It is the Invisible Illness umbrella. We are characterized as people who have certain illnesses or diseases that by just looking at us, you would never know.

I've also learned that there are plenty of things people tend to say that can get slightly irritating. And it's not because they are trying to be that way, it's a lack of knowing.

So to keep you in the know, here is a small list of things I personally could think of that EVERY person with an invisible illness has thought (or I hope they have & it's not just me):

People tend to tell you that you don't look sick. Yes, I get it. I look completely normal to you. That's kind of my plan. I don't intend to walk around with a giant sign saying "Seizures here!!" It's not something that people say to be rude, it's more of something they say out of shock. Like, "Wow I didn't know!" Then I have to get awkward like, "Surprise!" *insert jazz hands*

It's okay that I don't look sick. I have an INVISIBLE illness. It's hidden & when I have a seizure, you'll know. When I want you to know something is wrong, you will. But until then, I'm trying to look put together & "normal" so thank you for informing me that I don't look sick, but maybe next time... Don't.
Everyone gives you THE LOOK. It's like you're now an injured puppy dog & they need to take care of you. PLEASE STOP. Yes, sometimes I need help. I am human & I am sick. I'll admit that. But every little thing? That's a little ridiculous. And the advice is sweet too, but telling me to try all the things you've learned off the internet because you're worried about me won't necessarily help me. Help me by letting me help myself. I can't grow without jumping off that branch & trying to fly. I know how far to push myself & when to ask for help & I definitely will ask when I need it. But JUST because there is something wrong with me medically, does not mean I'm not capable.
People assume you're slightly over dramatic. This is a touchy one. I've seen many pictures & videos depicting people treating those with depression & anxiety like those with the flu. In all honesty, that's not how it works. You don't tell people with the flu that they are over dramatic, so why would I be over dramatic? Just because you can see how terrible someone with the flu looks or you can feel their fever, but you can't see anything wrong with me, doesn't mean I'm pulling your leg. You don't know what a person is going through. You can't just assume they are being dramatic & that they aren't really sick. Things like Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar, Arthritis, Diabetes, Celiac, Fibromyalgia & other illnesses aren't necessarily something you'll see, but they are there. And it's not something you would understand unless you were in their shoes.
Will people love me? Now this is one I personally struggled with. So many medications limit you & so many illnesses limit you as well. At the beginning of my diagnosis it was so unclear what was going to happen to me & where I was going to be. I honestly wondered who could love a broken person. It was a hard concept to grasp & it is for many people. Then I had a beautiful friend who also struggles with an invisible illness basically smack some sense into me. It was kind of like, "I know exactly what you're going through. Look at me. But you love me. And I have others that love me. You're going to be fine." But getting to that point is so hard for many people who struggle with both invisible & visible illnesses. I have come to realize that in the end our illnesses don't make us, & we are loved for who we are. There will be people that will see that & see past them. Those are the people you want to love & who you want to love you. If you love someone like us, please be patient.
I can do everything you can do. Finally, just because I have this limitation, doesn't mean I can't do everything you can, & possibly better. Living with seizures hasn't stopped me from soccer, working, Disneyland, the beach, going to concerts, road trips, or just relaxing. I just have an added precaution with certain things but so do so many other people when they do half those things. I still live life to the fullest, though I have this invisible illness & so do many others with the same thing. Don't think that just because we are "sick" that we won't have fun with you. We do anything in our power to have fun & we usually do a pretty good job.

Living with an invisible illness has definitely got its ups & downs, but we are capable of so much more than you would ever believe. We just need your help, to treat us like normal people. Because that's all we are, despite our struggles.